every clock in the house is approximately two minutes fast.
even the clock which receives a radio signal and is meant to be accurate to within a few seconds in a million years - is two and a quarter minutes fast. as often as i re-set the clocks, watches, mobile phone, video recorder and diverse other timekeepers, their hands or digits creep forward until once again they are two minutes ahead of what the recorded voice would have us believe is 'the time, sponsored by...' (as if anyone could sponsor time).
now, the only reason i can give for this, dear earthworm, is that this house has edged itself slightly into the future. this being the case, it follows that i should be able to use the slight edge to my advantage. but, so far, as with so many of my advantages, i haven't worked out how best to make use of this curious anomaly.